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Wednesday, October 31, 2001

Look Outside... Do You See It?

Posted Saturday, October 27, 2001

Do I see what??? Ha ha, nothing, really. I'm in a weird mood tonight, and I don't know why. I got rid of some crappy homework yesterday, so that was good, but now I have to focus on some ludicrous presentation for my god-awful Journalism class on Tuesday, read up to chapter 14 of The Scarlet Letter, read chapter 11 and write out prongs for historyl, and that's basically it. Oh yeah, and I think I'll be having a test for Spanish on Monday. So, going back to Journalism, it's just plain stupid. I hope I can drop next semester when I start choosing classes again. When I first walked into class, I thought to myself, "okay, this should be nice..." ::buzzer rings in the background:: Why I never realized my fatal mistake sooner remains a mystery. And now, ever since that day, I've been hating and wishing that I'd never considered the class in the first place. My teacher's a prick/asshole/psycho/etc. But alas, it's already too late, so I must strive to deal with this bullshit until I can finally be set free. Next, history really is killing me. I don't know how many C's I've gotten now. The very first exam I had was a B, and then it all became C's from that point forward. The class is too damn hard, so I hope that I can transfer out of it 2nd semester to regular American History. I don't plan to go to Stanford or Harvard anyway, as if they really are the best schools on the ENTIRE planet. And next: English. Ah yes, yesterday was certainly a fine day! I'm now the "Devil Child" of my first period class!!! Why? My teacher decided to do this court-hearing enactment yesterday, so a few of us volunteered for roles. I wanted to be judge, but then got to play Hester Prynne's 5-year-old daughter Pearl instead (these charas come from The Scarlet Letter). What sucked about the hearing was that I was probably the only person in the class who actually got into character.

I went mad.... on strike and on a rampage. My alert and psychotic awareness scared the living crap out of all the spectators who watched in horror as I, ďlittle Pearl,Ē hopped angrily on my desk, giggling, and being a stupid naive 5-year-old child who seemed to be the devil in disguise. And they loved it. People afterwards came up to me and told me that I was great and hilarious! It was certainly a good day for me, but also a very long one that I wished would just end. ::sighs:: And when that end came around, I was sincerely happy because then I knew that I could walk slowly through the door of my house and just plop my self down on the sofa, and watch some TV --- hell, even I GOT a kick out of Pokemon yesterday (seemed to be the only anime show on at the time).

::sighs:: And that's basically my wrap on yesterday. It was fantastic, and I even managed to force myself into getting rid of math early. So now there's only today.... I woke up at 7 a.m. in hopes of watching Cardcaptors, but then when that happened, I was so tired that I just threw myself back into bed and never woke up again until 12:30 p.m. I took a shower, and my mom came in to the house with a Jumbo Jack in her hand, which I happily ate for brunch. Later, we left. I had to stop by the library to renew and check out some more books for my stupid history term paper thingy due in December. After that, I basically followed her around while she attended to her errands. Then, my bro and his gf came down, and we left to go have a nice dinner (which he treated us to... yay!). After the dinner, it was onwards to the movie theater to catch Iron Monkey. Whoo, damn, great fighting!!! Lots of fighting..... I know you action freaks are drooling out there. Story-wise, there really wasn't much of a story other than..... okay, nevermind, I have a better way of describing it. Picture the Robin Hood story, except a Chinese version with lots of kick-ass fighting and you get Iron Monkey. The main character plays a guy who sneaks around at night stealing money from the corrupt governor and giving it to poor Chinese refugees. And yes... the fighting. How many times have I mentioned that now? I lost count a while ago.

Oh yeah, before I close this entry, I forgot to mention that I went back to that pirate anime DVD station. Apparently, they got a new shipment of Studio Ghibli works that just arrived today. Sweet. The nicest purchase I saw there was this Studio Ghibli DVD collection box set. It came in a plastic slipcase, and had about 6 discs with every single Ghibli movie ever released, including Princess Mononoke. At a price of $130, even for a pirate, it was still incredibly nice. I took it out of the slipcase and examined the inside, which was packaged gorgeously. My bro owed me a b-day gift, and he offered to buy, but I gave it some thought and said "no." Now that I think about it, maybe I should have gotten it. The guy who worked there showed me papers of all the people who called and placed orders for it. I don't know why I hesitated to get it. If you think about it reasonably, first of all, Disney recently decided to forget releasing any more Ghilbli work, which means we won't ever see Laputa, Nausicca of the Valley of Wind (my all-time favorite anime movie), Porco Rosso, or any of those great Ghilbi films. Also, this set comes with English subs, with the dubbing in its original Japanese language track. I want it now. I own almost all those Ghilbi films on VHS in Taiwanese, but even I don't completely understand Taiwanese. And that box... so perfect... ahhhhh, I want it now!!! I'm debating whether I should a) get a new CD player (I need a good one with more anti-skip time than my current Panasonic 3-second anti-skip. The player absolutely needs to have CD-R support and bass), b) get more music, or c) get the frickin' Ghilbi box set.

::thinks for a while:: Aaaaaahhh, this decision is sssssoooo hard to make!!! I'm actually more in a debate over the DVD box set and music than getting a CD player, 'cause that's something I could easily save up money to buy. Besides, my current player has faithfully served a long time, and I know it can serve me some more. ::thinks some more:: Okay, I'm really leaning towards the box set now.... I can always use good anime. Plus, if it's Miyazaki, I know that I'd be watching EVERYTHING over and over again. With Nausicca, I remember watching it at least once a day when I was younger... that film still doesn't tire me. It has been considered Miyazaki's best anime ever made (released in 1984), and I am certainly inclined to agree with that. So, to be able to watch this great classic in a translation that's actually understandable is something I really don't want to miss out on. I mean, c'mon, how long will American Miyazaki fans have to wait until some company picks up rights to release it domestically??? It's very unlikely that it'll happen, so why not go the pirate way (though I'm still somewhat opposed to pirates.... I'm only okay for them in situations like this where you know you'll never ever get a hold of something so rare anyway else) and be satisfied? So that pretty much settles it then. I want that DVD set. Yahoo. Oh whoops, gotta get back to work now. ^_^

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 8:07 PM

Saturday, October 20, 2001

Ending Credits

It's all over. My war. My fear. My anxiety. My restlessness. Gone. PSAT seemed a nightmare, but it really wasn't so. The test turned out better than I thought. However, I encountered a few minor problems with math... beh. I forgot most of my Geometry from last year, and sure enough, there were Geometry questions on the exam! Dammit!!! Oh well, this is only a practice test after all. As for the verbal section, that wasn't so bad, but I'm afraid that there's a slight chance I got some of the reading comprehension questions wrong.... I could've misinterpreted the thing, although I felt like I didn't. Vocabulary wasn't bad either, and the easiest part was sentence structure. It's odd to think that I'm an oriental girl who sucks at math but is good at English. Most orientals are just the opposite of me. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Heh.

So, what's the deal with the title? I felt it was appropriate to call it "Ending Credits" mainly because, well, like the first words in the first paragraph, it's all over. This entire drama that I had bundled up inside slowly came to an end --- a smashing finale where I stood in the front of the school clowning around with some friends and waving them a great "goodbye" as my mom pulled up to take me home. The school, at this time, was almost completely abadoned. Who would've thought parents would pick up their teens so quick? I walked through the door of my room with a big sigh of relief, sitting down at my computer table and leaning back, hungry, but happy. The Jack in the Box bag I held in my hand was tempting... I needed to eat. So I ate while being online, then got off, played Chrono Trigger, then slept... at the table. I then decided to work some more on on manga. Done. Okay, more Chrono Trigger. Oh look, my sister's home. Whoops, there she goes. Back to Chrono Trigger. Now strawberry ice cream. Now this Blogger entry. Now wondering what I'm going to do the rest of the day.... maybe I should call my friend and see if she wants to do anything. Okay, that's it.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 5:23 PM

Friday, October 19, 2001

"I Know I May Sound Disturbed"

The above was an excerpt from a Hybrid single entitled "I Know." A Breakbeat trio, these guys have the talent and pioneering spirit that takes electronic music to a whole new level, incorporating the usage of a real Russian orchestra and the unique voice of a female singer. All the songs they do, whether with vocals or not, are incredibly emotional and fresh --- something that hasn't happened for a long time now in the world of underground Electronica. I'm hyped. Of course, I've known about these guys for about a year now, but I've still never gone out to buy their album Wider Angle. Why not? I really don't know.... but now my mind is set on that sweet CD. However, before anything like that happens, I have to get ready for something.... something horrible. The nightmare of all nightmares. Hello, PSAT. Okay, I'm overexaggerating, mainly because the PSAT doesn't really count, and because it's not the SAT. Still, I need to take this seriously. If I do poorly, then I can only imagine what the results of the "real deal" will be, and I wouldn't bear to look at it. I'll probably hear my mom bawling in the background. Typical Asian parent who has that focus on math more than any other field in the wide world of school academics.

My Algebra 2 teacher handed all her students this practice workbook thingy to review the other lessons by during early September. She advised all of us who were taking PSAT or SAT this year to probably work ahead so that we could be well-prepared. And right now, that's exactly what I'm doing, though I'm not going to suddenly bust my ass entirely devoted to being some genius tomorrow. Like any other situation, it's a "nandemo" one. Who cares? This is just practice. I'll really start to worry when my Senior comes around the corner. By that time, I'll probably be in a state of shock. Anyway, aside from the usual school hoo-hah, I've been working on that Lain picture I did during the summer --- the one where she's on a scooter. Due to the fact that the background was practically half-covered by those ugly-looking-so-called "mountains," the entire thing was basically ruined. I wanted the picture to be alive and full of this impression of "atmosphere in it; that's why I had the grass field. Unfortunately, even that green blob doesn't look much like grass either. So what did I do? I devoted an hour of my time yesterday evening to fixing that sucker up. After the comic meeting, the officials wanted the illustrators to bring in a sample of something that they took "seriously," as in a piece with a lot of effort put into it. And so, as my choice, it's this Lain one. Not only does Lain look like Lain, but the retouch is absolutely gorgeous, now completely the way I originally wanted not. Also, to add on to that, it is BY FAR the best coloring job I've done digitally. After coming back from Otis, I can color well without the use of a computer, however, it still doesn't hold much of a candle up to my newly-rendered-in-your-face-eye-candy that is Lain. Fulfill the Prophecy indeed.

::leans back and sighs:: So that's it. After I got back, for some reason I felt like going outside... beautiful sky, dotted clouds, cool breezes..... the perfect weather that I have always asked for. Strapping on my rollerblades, I took off in a rush --- my natural high. Some people were goofing off in the streets tossing a football back and forth, but they stopped and silently gazed at me as I entered the streets straight from the inclined driveway effortlessly, bending down and leaping onto the sidewalk in an aggressive skate manuever. To many, rollerblades are probably "out-dated" and "ghetto." That may be so (the current trend is obviously those Razor scooters... I own one myself, and it's a thrill to ride on), however, blades still keep it real. I love the feeling of breeze blowing through my hair, or the fact that I can easily do stunts without the usage of hands. Turns, spins, jumps, slaloming, etc. are all some of the things I do in blades that I could never really do with anything else. Hand me a skateboard and I'll practically lose balance and fall flat on my ass before you can even utter the word "Pikachu." Right, and that wraps everything up. Now I'm online, typing this, while doing Algebra review. Splendid. At least it'll be all over tomorrow... it's just three hours of inhuman torture, and then I won't have to deal with it again for a whole year. Wish me luck 'cause I'm seriously gonna need it.... BAD.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 8:52 PM

Wednesday, October 17, 2001


Bad day, bad day, bad day, I'm having a BAD day!!!!!! Not only do I know that I totally fucked up on my chem quiz today, I also know that I missed this entire section on the Spanish 2 quiz I had earlier as well. So what of chem? Aren't you good at chem? Well, yes. In fact, the quiz I was doing today happened to be something that I totally understood. However, the teacher was reviewing the concept since more than half of the class couldn't understand it. I got so sleepy that I snoozed a bit, then the quiz was handed out.... I quickly perked up. But then.... I basically just guaranteed my doom. For some crazy reason, I couldn't figure out how to place the units correctly in the first question, so then I had to use white-out for the problem, move on, unsure of myself, move on again. In the end, I was the last one in class to turn my quiz in. I also completely skipped #1. I seriously don't understand how all of a sudden my brain just shut off like that, but I was so sure I'd do good. Baka. I'll probably get a 2/10. I need to do good on these quizes. Although an overall grade of B is above average, I still want to get an A in this class desperately. So many people do poorly in science (espeically the Asians... never knew why), which is why I want to be a rare Chinese/American girl who breaks the boundaries. I absolutely love science... that stuff is so much more interesting to learn than history, and is in fact, almost like history in the sense that you learn about when an element was discovered, how if affects the world, etc. Science is what has brought us to our current stage of technology. Anyway, I'm hoping that there's some way I could redeem myself later on in the year.

When I got home today, I received two things from my school: 1) a letter discussing an upcoming event where donations are needed, and 2) my current progress report. I didn't get any letter grades for Spanish 2 and AP History yet, but there was a grade in Journalism, which was a flat-out B. Gee, thanks a lot Mr. Prick LA Times staffwriter man/teacher. The guy's an asshole. But ANYWAY..... my Spanish teacher wrote in a comment: "lack of oral participation." Well I'm starting to get more involved now, so hopefully I can pull this off. Then there's History, where my teacher just wrote "a pleasure to have in class" period. Alrighty, well that's it for now. I'll most likely write again later... I've got work to do for History anyway (another stupid Outline on a chapter) due tomorrow, so I'll probably go on KaZaA and download some kickin' music. BTW, the new Target by my house opened on Saturday, and I went on Monday. Damn, that place is HUGE!!!! I walked out of the store 45 minutes later with a Target bag carrying my newly purchased Gorillaz CD (yes, I love that animated group. I wonder if they'll ever do this again and release another album). It's.... sweet. Good stuff, mind you. Go out and buy. Buy now. Buy buy buy buy buy buy buy buy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 4:09 PM

Tuesday, October 16, 2001


Well, time for me to read and highlight some boring U.S. history bullshit. Oh yeah, I've also got to pay CAREFUL attention 'cause I'm going to have a stupid 10-point quiz on what I read tomorrow. Then there's a Chemistry quiz. Despite the fact that I'm doing fairly well in Chem, this thing we're currently working on is mind-boggling. After I get all that stuff out of the way, then I plan on reading two chapters of Scarlet Letter for English 'cause I have to get up to Chapter 8 by Friday for a test. Damn, way too many frickin' tests at this school. I also think there's a test for Algebra 2 and Spanish 2 on Friday. This sucks. >.<

Going back to English for a moment, I really wish my teacher would allow the students to write about a topic of their own choosing, as in, the teacher, for example, assigns us to write out an expository essay where we could choose what to give instructions on. It seems that all the current assignments I've gotten so far pertain to the literature I'm reading, which really sucks. My next essay is a compare and contrast one between Puritans and the people who lived through the Enlightenment. How charming. I hate reading old American literature --- the talk is too gibberish for me to fully understand. The way the authors word sentences and stuff like that hurt my mind.... I often get confused between "thou" and "thee." Which one is which? My urge everytime I read this stuff is to wish that I could jump back into colonial times and smack these guys up the damn forehead, then teach them the "proper" way to write with clarity.

Oh whoops, I've spent too much time already writing this out. Anyway, I'll probably write again tomorrow, maybe not. Ja ne!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 10:34 PM

Monday, October 15, 2001

3 Days... Life After That

After enduring this entire week of hell, I get a well-deserved three-day weekend due to the fact that there's a teacher meeting on Monday (today/tomorrow... it's 2:11 a.m. on a Monday morning, but I usually prefer tomorrow just 'cause it still feels like Sunday). But of course, teachers overload me with work yet again, so there's time for fun, but then again, not really. As usual, I can't go even a damn minute with the word "homework" popping into my head and annoying me. Out of all the things I have to do, of course AP American History is the most time-consuming of all. I did an outline on chapter 9, and it took me like frickin' three hours. Maybe it took that long 'cause I was constantly distracted by things --- my mind just wasn't there. I didn't want to work. I wanted to relax and work on my site, or my manga, or watch Serial Experiments Lain again, or even read my English literature The Scarlet Letter. Better yet, I wanted to read another chapter of Speed Tribes. Due to school imposing, I never have the time to read that book anymore. I was half-way through it too, dammit! At least today was not a total loss: I caught Cowboy Bebop on Adult Swim at 12-1 a.m. God I love that show. It's deep --- not as deep and technical as Lain --- but definitely deep in the "where's life going?" area. The show's got originality, style, class, knowledge, and smooth-talking characters, as well as light-hearted comedy in between. I'd be surprised to hear someone say they dislike the show. Oh well, your loss. I'm now all determined to buy every single soundtrack released for this series. It seems that everything Yoko Kanno does turns to gold. I've never once heard a dull song that came from her creative mind.

And afterwards, I switched to MTV for about 10 minutes and saw that cheesy "All-Star Tribute" music video dedicated to the victims of the terrorist attacks. First thing that came to mind: how much did they pay the artists? Seriously, I don't think any of these people would actually volunteer to do something without dollar signs written on paper. They continuously showed footage of the recording studio they all sat in, and I watched them "getting into the mood" by nodding their heads to the beat, giving each other hugs and thumbs up, etc. Wow, my phony-radar is going off the top. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!!! For one thing, there was no way in hell any one of them could've gotten THAT emotional about the project. Secondly, I believe this was all an attempt to appeal to the fans... browny points earned to make those "artists" seem like people with hearts of gold. Blah! >.<

Oh whoops, look at the time! 2:23 a.m. and I need to finish up my math so I have some free time later tomorrow!!! ::runs::

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 2:26 AM

Thursday, October 11, 2001

Matta Juni-gatsu: Yume no Aoi

What you have just read is the official title of my manga. Hopefully it won't change as time goes on. And the translation for the title? Until December: Vision of Blue I pretty much now have a general idea on how I want the story to go. Today was the.... 5th meeting of our club, I think. The pro manga artist took a look at some of our art samples, and now we have to work on our comic at home due to the fact that the club meetings are the length of the entire Thursday lunch period. I've gotten 5 strips drawn, but now I have to re-do all of them because I decided that I wanted each strip to take up an entire 8Ĺ X 11 inch sheet of white printer paper 'cause then the artwork would look much more detailed. The current version of UDVoB is on that paper, except the sheet is folded in half, barely leaving enough room for a good picture. Also, I'm going to stall a little bit because I e-mailed the artist at MegaTokyo and asked him how he did his excellent comic layout. All I know is that he did do it on a computer, but I'm not sure how, and I certainly don't have the time to learn unless I don't have... work... over... the weekend... heh heh heh!!! That's right, I forgot, I get Monday off!!! Nyah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!! ^_____^ Well then, guess that's settled. Alright, I'll post again later, but for now, I better hit the schoolbooks! Ja ne minna-san!!!!!!!!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 4:55 PM

In Which I Am at War With Myself

As the saying goes, ďlifeís a bitch.Ē My mom and I were constantly complaining about how sick we were of doing work. Everyday is work: we walk work, talk work, eat work, do work, and basically are work in itself. If humanity is so consumed with such to the point where we canít even enjoy ourselves, then why bother living? Well, I suppose that is going a bit out of hand, but.... itís just that Iíve been thinking, perhaps a little too much.

Everything to me is now mostly school-related. There goes another weekend. Itís 1:17 a.m. right now on a Monday, the day where Iím obligated to return to this pitiful and miserable place known only as Sunny Hills High School, where the motto is ďWhere Every Student is an Honored Student!Ē Good mother-of-fucking god, if that isnít the biggest bunch of bullshit Iíve ever read, then I donít know what is. First off, NO student here is an honored student. If judging/criticism/put-downs/let-downs are supposed to make you feel honored, then I might as well commit suicide while Iím ahead (and no, I wonít actually do that ^_^).

I have reached a point now where I can pretty much declare myself as Holden Caulfieldís little-sister-unknown (never heard of this character? Then go read The Catcher in the Rye). I am, as he believes and perceives the world to be, surrounded by phonies. Flakes, flunkies, two-sided bimbos... you name it, itís here. It exists. I have to sit through 6 hours of torture as I painfully witness girls flaunting their damn hair around, guys with spike hairdos trying to sound ghetto, and teachers who lecture at a rapid pace without really explaining anything. Sound familiar? Maybe not to you, but to me it does, except for the phony people part. This place, Iíve concluded, is not all that different from homeschooling. Most of the assignments are still based on reading the textbook and doing stuff from them. The only difference is that youíre at a school, youíve got a teacher who lectures, and you get a social life.

I both love and loathe it. My mind is still very much clouded. Often times I asked myself if I wanted to go back to homeschool just so I wouldnít have to deal with it anymore. However, when I give it some more thought, I decide to reject the idea and continue being and feeling miserable inside. So many have simply told me to ďjust deal with it,Ē but how can I? At some point, Iím going to crack and breakdown to the point where counseling with a psychiatrist is mandatory. On the contrary, I could be overreacting, but I don't think so. Something is definitely wrong with me, but what? The stereotype on teens states that we're all suicidal and depressed. And who the hell wouldn't be?!? As we constantly receive horror after horror about real life society, we figure that it really isn't a fantasy trip anymore. Then there's that word... "fantasy." What is "fantasy"? Fantasy is that part of the human conscious that strives to live one's dream life, and it usually involves situations that would never happen in reality. "Fantasy" is a drug, basically. Notice how "ectasy" and "fantasy" sound alike. Both get you high, except one's natural and the other is chemically-induced. When the effects begin to kick in, the world becomes warped, and suddenly, you find yourself enjoying this strange new place. The feelings you get are overwhelming... ecstasy spoon-fed tactile sensations give you goosebumps each time. Fantasy sensations are always the non-reality-type happiness --- the true happiness that no human being will ever achieve, and if there is a God....... even HE wouldn't be able to obtain such a wonderful thing.

Now do you see what I mean? There actually is more to teens than what most ordinary people think. At this phase, we aren't taken seriously. Who cares about teens right? They'll get over it soon enough. Bull shit. That thought needs to be perished.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 4:48 PM

Sunday, October 07, 2001


Posted on Thursday, October 4, 2001
Ever really sit back and just stare at one for a moment in your life? Those things are gorgeous in a way that words alone cannot fully describe the majestic appearance they present to us. The floating, the shape-shifting.... all of it plays with our minds. We are always in awe when these residents of the firmament present themselves. I love a partly-cloudy day. It only reminds me of just how much more is out there for me to explore in this short lifetime I live. The open skyways is the path to follow, since that is the place where dreams transcend time itself. Iíve often wondered to myself what it would feel like to sit on top of the cotton ball-formations --- to look upwards towards space, and to look down to the surface that is far below me. This place... where I can lay back upon a fluffy surface and dream my entire life away, living in luxury.

However, itís a clichť right? Wrong. People take way too many things these days for granted. Do we truly appreciate the simple things in life? What ever happened to visions of the future? We are so caught up with ourselves that we really donít serve much of a purpose. Or at least thatís my opinion. ::sighs and yawns:: It was cloudy earlier today, but then the clouds disappeared as the rays of the sun stabbed right through, penetrating the light surface and landing on our ground. By the time I got out of school at 2:45 p.m., the clouds were all gone, and what I was left with was clear-blue-skies. Though I stood for a minute in my neighborhood and smiled, I knew that this glorious picture could only be topped off with a bit of clouds added in.

By now, you must have noticed that Iíve got an affinity for large open spaces right? Yes, I certainly do. For some reason, giant open spaces with virtually nothing absolutely captivates me --- I see a meaning behind each one, as well as find my solace in them. My favorite, especially, are the grass fields. My dream place would be a giant open grass field, like the waving plains, with just a few towering trees, and the bright sky with clouds, the area surrounded by lush green mountains far away. And to think, such places actually exist, unless itís just my imagination. Iím thinking of incorporating this idea to my manga. Kei has a mind that wanders all the time. When she drifts away, she sees herself in this place, staring, and doing nothing but staring in silence. Her time to think is here, but her visions are often shattered when the horrific face of the teacher imposes. Pop. It bursts just like that. To tell you the truth, I havenít exactly got the whole story written out. All the ideas and transitions are up here in my noggin.

Speaking of manga, today was the fourth meeting of the Hodoo Comics Club, where, as usual, we did nothing. However, the illustrators are required to bring in their sketchbooks next week so that the supervisor (whoís the pro manga artist in the club) can see our drawing style(s). Iím pretty excited, though I will admit, Iím not as talented as anyone else. However, Iím good enough for the job, after all, the majority of them arenít too good with sketching realistic things. In other words, theyíve been drawing anime/manga their entire lives. Plus, Iíve obviously developed my own manga style that differs completely from anything else. And thatís a good thing too, because I no longer have to mimic anyone elseís style. I am more of a realistic-type manga artist. I mean, the art still looks manga, but just different. There are no big bulging eyes that take up over half the face, extremely round heads, and hair that practically glows. Uh-uh, none oí that at all. Iíll have to scan some of my more recent work in to show you, although this would be posted at Club Cyberia.... maybe I should make a separate space for original art. Who knows. Whatís getting me right now is the fact that I barely have time anymore to work on my web sites. It greatly pisses me off, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, homework and school do come first, so gomennasai minna-san.

Ack, have to go now. Iíve got some more boring APUSH to do thatís due tomorrow, plus, the final draft of my persuasive essay on school uniforms, and revision of my journalism leads. Iím hoping that I can find some time to spare this weekend to do a little bit of work on my manga, as well as write about two reviews to e-mail to my friend in Florida so that we can update our online magazine!!! Weíre like two months overdue! >.<

P.S. The American Revolution absolutely cracks me up. Itís almost as if both sides of the war were brainless when it came down to shooting muskets at each other. First off, what kind of idiot stands in the open with the enemy in sight and practically risk their ass getting killed? Oh wait, they did die, nevermind. Some of the Minute Men did use strategic tactics, but the organized warfare that ensued were lines of soldiers armed with guns in two ranks, the first one taking the first shot, then kneeling to reload, where most of them got killed (it was too easy to hit them). The second rank would then fire, and kneel to reload as well while the first rank stood back up and fired another round. I donít know why thereís such lack of intelligence in these battles. No wonder they all suffered major casualties. ::shrugs::

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:28 PM

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

Busy But Feeling Dizzy, Ever So Dizzy Inside

Just last week, a strange event took hold of me, and while walking around for two days, I kept stumbling and crashing into things, literally. The world around me was sort of a blur, shifting, rotating, and running in circles around me. I was the stationary sun while everything else were the planet in the solar system. I'm over it now, therefore, I'm normal again. I still wonder what started it in the first place. ::sighs:: I'm in a jam --- there's just too much work to be done. It was the beginning of this week when I started realizing that over half of my teachers at school didn't even know what they were talking about. Their on-going rambles proved to be horrendously boring, and I caught myself catnapping several times in class. Only English and Chemistry have supressed me til' today. In the meantime, none of the members of the club I'm in really know what they're doing. It has been three meetings, and we've done nothing but sit around and chit-chat. I thought we were supposed to be collaborating on a comic book project? I guess not anymore; people are all doing their "thing," and I know I'm going to do mine. I figured out the story, the characters, the setting --- everything. I plan to call it Until December, except the title will be in Japanese, that is, if I can find a proper translation. The story itself is based on my experiences at this school. The tone will be a mixture of both depression and out-of-whack goofiness, but most of it is pretty much straightfoward. A foreign exchange student named Kei visits Yokohama, Japan for a year and attends the international school. Feeling relieved that she's able to speak English there (even if she is Japanese by descent and knows Japanese), she expects to have an easy time there. However, her entire vision is crushed to pieces as she encounters the horrors of trying to stay alive in a society where rejection is often the norm. She is later befriended the second day of school by a guy named Toya who's a pro at Dance Dance Revolution. Hmm... is there a soft of romantic relationship between the two? Well, yes and no. Though I don't have a boyfriend, I figured to throw in a love-spoof type of thing. Unfortunately for shojo fans, there won't be any type of kissing going on... just embracing and perhaps childish glomping out of friendly relations. So why call it Until December? Because.... December is just a special season in Japan where the sakuras fall, where the temperature changes, and where breezes reign. It's an atmosphere that implores one to let go of everything --- their troubles, torments, thoughts... all of it. I am now only hoping that I can make this story a reality.

Anyway, production has sort of begun. I'm already trying to figure out the front cover design, but am unable to spend too much time on it. In fact, I'm doing AP US History B.S. while typing this at the same time. And speaking of which, I was rudely interrupted by my sister who prances around with the obvious dub of "princess" engraved somewhere on her. And no, it's not literal. Good god, sometimes I wish I could slap her, but I know what the result would be if I did just that. An all-out catfight is the last thing I want at 10:30 p.m. on a Tuesday night. She came by, knocked on my door, and I told her she wasn't allowed to use the internet 'cause I was online and doing homework. But she just had to get fussy about it... started bitching about how I was probably online fooling around and neglecting my work (bullshit, I was doing work. At the same time, I was downloading MP3's, but like that takes any effort... just search, press "download," and you never have to look back). I made demands to her, and she agreed, then walked inside. Oh, but wait, there's more bitching hurled at me, and I just sit there absorbing it. I know I would win this fight, but I was so ticked off that the words coming from my mouth didn't make any sense in a way. Her typical style of battling was this: 1) for every word spoken by her me, she would have to raise her voice by one decibel. 2) If I continued retaliating, she would then conjure up an amalgam of cuss words to K.O. me with. 3) I would ignore the cuss words and try to prove her immaturity by letting her know that cussing showed signs of my opponent's inability to find justification for her ideals. Her only reaction would be even more screaming and ranting. 4) As I continue, she only has one last resort: to deny everything and declare that you're stupid. "How do you know I did that?!? I never said anything!!! Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!" Good god, this fight wasn't even worth my effort. I know I won though... it was there inside me the whole time. I refuse to let myself be intimidated by some 20-year-old-soon-to-be-21 still living her life in the "adolescent stage" where 2-hour long phone gossip and boy-crazy/boy-stalking is the norm of everyday life. If that didn't show her lack of intelligence, then I don't know what will. The last thing she shouted at me as she stormed out of my room was that I was stupid and couldn't even do simple math problems. Ahem, first of all, what justification do you have that I'm "stupid"? Stupidity is defined by total lack of intelligence, which is something I am not. If I were "stupid," I wouldn't even be able to type this entry out properly. Secondly, what is your definition of "simple math problems"? You mean I can't figure out what 1+1 is?!? Oh the humanity!!! I'm stupid everyone!!!! ::laughs manically:: Sheesh, nice comeback, you dolt.

Alrighty, that just about does it. It's imperative that I return to my work, otherwise, I'm screwed for the night once again, as usual. It's no surprise, really. As the saying goes, "life's a bitch." I couldn't have said that better myself. Lay.


P.S. The fight with my sis, I forgot to comment, left me with a rather large realization of why the colonists rebelled against Britain on the eve of the Revolution: they were tired of dropping everything that they were doing in order to satisfy Britain (i.e. all the laws and acts passed by officials and by Parliament). I know how they feel now. My sister is the equivalent of colonial tyranny I guess. Her demands come first, so if someone were to be doing a very important task as she insisted her needs be met, that person would have to totally waste their time letting her have her way while they just sat at the sidelines doing nothing about it. Sad, if you ask me. The poor fool.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 11:27 PM

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