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Monday, January 28, 2002

License to Drive: Antix Style

So, two days after I posted the last Blog entry, I took my driving test and passed first time around!!! Do you know how relieved I am to have passed the first time around?!? It felt wonderful... of course, I came really close to failing. I got 13 mistakes --- 2 marks away from failing due to the fact that I didn't check my sides enough when making turns. Whatever, it's over, and I'm damn happy!!!!!! ^__________^

Also, Belldandy is on her way to my front door. YES, I managed to talk my mom into it, borrowed the credit card, ordered the 1/6 scale PVC statue, and am now impatiently waiting for that package to just meet my eyes. I expected it to arrive today, but it should probably arrive tomorrow or Wednesday for sure. I'll be waiting... oh yes I will. Today started the fresh beginning of the second semester.... a time of opportunity for me. And for some mysterious reason, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, at this school seemed so motivated all of a sudden!!! It's like they found inspiration somewhere during the weekend that gave them the motivation to do good this semester, as in giving it their all, myself included. After dropping Journalism, discovering more friends in my classes, etc., I am certainly feeling much better about the remaining half of this year. I am still amazed, even at this point, that a half of a school has already whooshed right by us. And here I am, not feeling a thing. Did 5 months really go by? Have I seriously been attending this torture-chamber school for that LONG??? It's shocking, but at the same time, I've felt as if I just achieved something marvelous. I am certainly proud of myself for how much I've come along, but now is the time to push it even further.

I've got SAT tests and an AP American History examination to worry about in the upcoming months. For SAT, I need to attend a tutoring academy to raise my scores. After seeing my pathetic PSAT results, I just had my eye opened all of a sudden, and I am determined to raise my score. If I don't, then I can say "bye-bye" to all my college ambitions and dreams. It's my future that counts, and I need to start taking responsibility for it. Therefore, as a result (and this will NOT be pleasing to most of you out there reading this right now), further site revamps and additions for both Club Cyberia and K-Bug Anime/Tokyo Bum will have to be postponed even further than originally planned. Even summer vacation this year doesn't seem to be as merciful as last year. It's going to be hell, and a busy one at that. I will be striving to squeeze myself into Oral Communication and Economics. There's going to be summer school for me ladies and gentlemen. AX 2002? I'm still going, but the days are going to be cut short. For sure, I will missing out on the fabulous Opening Ceremonies that starts off the best event of the year. I'm disappointed that I'll have to miss that, but alas, July 4 is a Thursday, and Thursday is a day that I have school for who knows how long.

I hate to think about my current situation right now. Switching from homeschool to public school was, in a way, a mistake on both my part and my mom's part. If anything, I should've transferred back to public school during my Freshman or Sophomore year. To be a Junior right now is like being my own worst enemy. I am constantly engaged in this giant war to keep pushing and to never give up. I have to win, and it's necessary for my own good. It's probably going to be the toughest battle I've ever faced, but I need to go through it. Everyone does, and that's what being a teenager is all about. Sure, it sounds cool because we're on the brink of adulthood, however, it's the time in our lives when we are exposed to so many new things never encountered before, where we are suffering from stress of school, friends, etc., and question authority. We were born innocent and evolved into rebels. We are all engaged in the same battle, and we will continue fighting until we attain victory.

That is how I see my current situation. I'm going to class with a fresh attitude. Sure, I'm not totally satisfied, but nevertheless, this is how it's gonna be. Now, all I have left to do is find myself a new puffy winter jacket... I'm in need of one badly. CA is so damn cold right now that I practically turn into an icicle at school!!!!!!!!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 10:32 PM

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

I Did Something Today That I'll Probably Regret for the Rest of the Year

I got rid of Algebra 2 finals today, whoo hoo. Unfortunately, I stayed after school today to meet with my counselor. This is where the bad news kicks in. After I was through testing in math today, my teacher handed me the schedule change request form that I had turned in on Friday. First off, I could drop AP American History if I got my mom's signature. Okay, that wasn't too bad. The bad part was that I was unable to drop Journalism to take Oral Communcation 'cause that class was already full!!! I ended up dialing my mom and had her drive to my school to talk to my counselor. We went over several things, and here's the explanation as to why I said that I'll probably regret this decision:

My dream college is Art Center, one of the best art schools in the country. However, Art Center's tuition fee doesn't come cheap. I've heard from my bro (he's an Art Center graduate, damn him) and my mom that UCLA had an excellent art department, to the point where the instructors there were pretty much on par to that of Art Center's staff. I was amazed to discover this, so if I don't go to Art Center, I could go to UCLA. Unfortunately, UCLA, like most major universities populated by throngs of Asian people, is an academically-challenging university. To get in without too much torment, they look for AP/Honors/IB classes listed on your high school regime. It makes you look better. Then there's also the fact of the SAT test. I've only got one AP class, and it's that baka History class with the corrupt and perverted teacher I hate so much. There is no guarantee that I'll even be able to get into an AP class next year when I'm a Senior at this damn school, so the decision was hard to make. After all the countless times I've declared how I hate this class, nevertheless, it seems like an obligation for me to stay. Yes, that means another 5 months of torture. This is why I regret homeschooling too, because I'm very unaware about situations like this.

At least I'm getting a B so far, which is pretty good in an AP class. I just have to worry about whether or not I can retain it. Then there's the damn AP exam in May, which most universities expect AP students to take. The price is a rip-off of $78!!! I'm going to take it though... I'll probably turn it in tomorrow after class or during the 15 minute break in-between testing. I'm so upset over the whole matter, but this is my future we're talking about, and I want to make it easier for myself. Meanwhile, the Journalism issue was resolved after further discussion. It turns out that I didn't a computer competency class back at my previous school (it wasn't required in order to graduate there, unlike this high school.... baka), so that's what I'm taking 3rd period. The great part about this is that I'm guaranteed an easy A in the class, plus, the homework load, as I heard from my counselor, isn't a lot, which means I can spend that extra time boosting up all my other classes. I'm actually relieved that I found an important class to take. I really want my Senior year to be better for me.

Summer school will be changed as well. If I register early for Oral Communication, I can take that, and then take Economics after Oral Communication. During my Senior year, I could choose to enter AP Government (I don't think so though. If I hate history so much, I'll hate this even more), and then take Biology 2nd semester. Yeah, enrolling at this new high school in my Junior year really did fuck my entire high school experience up, but at least I'm managing through compromises.

Alright, enough with the shitty school talk! How about anime?!? Yeah, well I talked to my mom on the way home today about the Belldandy figure, and it seemed that she was "okaying" my wanting to purchase it, but we'll just have to see. I kept telling her how nice it was, etc. etc. etc., and she kind of bought it. I'm actually going to look at other anime sites to see if they sell the figure for a cheaper price than AnimeNation. Hopefully Banzai Anime will have it, but I doubt it since they don't really update their online catalog. Dammit. >.< Alright, I do have to go now... I've been procrastinating my studies again, and this time, it's for Chemistry and Spanish 2!!! I can't wait for tomorrow to end, and then after that, I have to worry about my driving test on Friday!!! Let's just hope I pull out of this alright, 'cause I'm a nervous wreck!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 7:24 PM

Sunday, January 13, 2002

Not Another School Week!!!

Wow, that was some weekend. I think I only experienced it for like an hour or so. It's 10:24 p.m. right now. I have a little bit of unfinished work left to do, but nonetheless, I'll be getting sleep tonight for once!!! Finals are creeping up slowly, and I feel as if it's going to strike from outta nowhere and kill me! 0_0 ::laughs:: Yeah... right. Tomorrow, I need to stay after school and meet with my counselor to discuss certain issues regarding the upcoming Spring Semester. I need to discuss with her whether or not I should stay in AP American History or drop. To tell the truth, there are pros and cons to both options. Pros: If I stay, it'll look better on my college regime, plus, I already know all the students in that class. Cons: If I stay, I'll continue to get a "C," will have to write another damn 15 page report, take the AP exam in May, and see my GPA drop. I really don't know, which is why I need to see her badly, and register for classes as well. I already do know for a fact that I'm hauling my ass out of journalism. I think I'll go for another class like Government or Economics if possilble just to make my Senior year less distressful. At the very least, I'm not suffering from Senioritus (sp?), which is a condition that makes the students become like Seniors in high school: lazy procrastinators.

No one here wants to do work, and I can certainly see why. With all the shit that this school crams into our daily lives, who wouldn't suffer from Senioritus? Oh yeah, so moving on... I started working on my Spanish calendar thingy last night, and it came out quite well! I finished doing the digital coloring today on one pic, but I still have another to go before laying out the final touches. It's going to blow everyone else's away, or so I hope it does. I hate this class so much that I feel that need to prove my worth in this class. Also, let's not forget that everyone in this class thinks of me as a Freshman or a Sophomore... yeah, they're still in shock about it. God, I hate this school.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 10:31 PM

Friday, January 11, 2002

"If I Survive".... Well, I Did

The first week of school after winter break has officially ended. It blasted by me so fast, and it was so real too. It felt as if winter vacation was nothing more than a mere dream that I had experienced for about an hour before waking up to my nightmare again. This week wasn't too bad, except for the fact that I was completely plastered with work and tests. I had three test days in a row, and it's not even finals dammit! >.< This weekend, I might go up to an anime store with a couple of buds, but we're not certain yet. In the meantime, I can sort of relax for a little while 'cause I don't really have any homework, except for that baka history class, but I don't bother doing those "optional" key terms anymore. It seems that no matter what, I'll still end up with a "C" in that class. ^_^

So this week really wasn't all that bad. For once, I actually woke up early every morning!!! But I still fall asleep in classes. There was a humungous change at my school on Monday, and it was the new carpeting in all the classrooms except for the Chem labs. I sort of didn't see the point of installing carpetry, 'cause now we can't even chew gum in the classes or have small snacks! Baka. Oh, so let's get on with some of the updates currently going on here:

1) The Hodoo Comic Club met yesterday (Thursday) to evaluate the illustrators' progress and go over some details, as well as discuss solutions to certain problems we are experiencing. My friend, the former vice-pres of the club, came up with a great idea regarding our comic publishing problem: approach companies/anime stores and see if they want to place an ad in our doujinshi anthology! Yeah, we don't really plan on printing the comic on to copy-machine paper. I believe the pres. had more in mind of a professional-type doujinshi magazine. We raised about $300 alone from doing fundraising things, but $300 will not be enough to cover the printing fee. As for progress with the writers/illustrators (myself included), we're still off to a slow start. First semester is near an end, and we only have another semester to go to get this thing done! I'm seriously hoping that second semester will be easier on me so that I can draw more strips!

2) Journalism finals start next week. Aside from watching and taking notes on a boring video, all students must be able to demostrate their abilities as journalists by being able to write out a news story, a feature story, and an editorial. The last test will be a test on a "libel" packet we have to read.

3) Because of my Chem teacher's absence the week before winter break, we are really stressing in this class right now. Currently, we're rushing through a lot of material, and just yesterday, I took the chapter tests for Ch. 6 and 10. Luckily, my over-studying paid off, as I received a 97 out of 100 on it!!! ^_________^

4) Spanish finally gave me an interesting homework project that's due on the Friday of next week. All students are to create a one-page calendar featuring the month that has their favorite "celebration" in it. The image of the month must include us participating in our favorite celebration. Guess which one I'm doing? July... and no, this is not Independence Day. It's Anime Expo, baby. I plan on drawing the main image out by hand, then scanning it in Photoshop and coloring it. All the little day boxes and such will be created in Illustrator. This should prove to be fun. I'm going to start later today.

5) Math finals are steadily approaching us as well (for Alg. 2, that is), so all of next week will be entirely reviewing the 7 chapters that we've covered so far. It's intense, but it'll probably be WAY better than the upcoming AP history finals on the 23 chapters of the book we've read! ::sighs:: This is going to suck, as always, but hey, at least I can lean back with ease once all my tests are over.

6) My best friend that I've known since 1st grade turned 17 on December 30. Unfortunately, she was unable to hold the usual sleepover b-day party on that day, but plans on postponing to sometime very soon. The details are quite sketchy right now, but I can't wait to attend. BTW, she loved the Princess Mononoke DVD that I got her, as well as a burned copy of Sasha and John Digweed's Northern Exposure 2: Eastcoast Edition CD.

7) Tonight, I'm going to order the Ah! My Goddess The Movie OST from House of Anime. Yeah, it's pirated, but I can't afford to buy the official CDs. I get sad about it everytime 'cause I want to support the talented musicians who put forth hours upon hours of effort into it. My deepest regrets to you out there. ;_; At least I'll still be able to enjoy your fine work, although the money doesn't go to you... gomennasai.

Whooo... that wraps most of it it up. I can finally get down to some of the work that I've been meaning to do for the longest time! I'm very surprised by how this weekend hardly gave me anything to do! Alright, I must go and brainstorm some ideas...

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 6:22 PM

Monday, January 07, 2002

Hey, Maybe I'm a Transcendentalist

It's really odd to think about that, but after discovering some background info about Transcendentalism in my English 3 class, I sort of realized that I might be very lenient towards it. Yes, it's true that I have an affinity for nature... perhaps, a rather large one. I just thought about it, but I'm not going to go all religious over it. I was just amazed by the fact that there were others who felt the same way I do right now about nature and how one can cast off the burdens while embracing it. No wonder I often dream about an endless landscape of an open field on a timeless cloudy day, in which the clouds accelerate and slow down to their own liking. It's weird. It actually kind of bothers me right now to think about it. But like I said, I'm not going to go all religious over it. I discovered this morning that Transcendentalism mixes in some bizarre religion on its own part, and there's no way in hell that I'd ever become a part of this "cult" following. Well okay, it's not a cult following, but still, people are psychos. All my classmates already regard what we learned this morning as.... freaky. Great, does that mean I'm classified as "psycho-girl"? Hopefully not. I'm now starting to find the current English literature really interesting... the first essay I got to read for homework was entitled Nature, by none other than Ralph Waldo Emerson. Damn, it's real DEEP shit.

Right now, I'm busying myself answering the questions included in the textbook. It's not hard at all... I'm an ace at this class. As for everything else, well, I won't go there. I was expecting this first comeback day as a sort of take-it-easy kind of thing, but nope. My teachers immediately laid the workload and pressure upon us all, reminding and informing us about the upcoming finals week. I'm especially nervous in Journalism and Algebra 2 since they're tough classes. History is another suicide-inducer, but at least I already know I'll probably get a damn "C" on the final anyway. Whatever. I'm not really going to bother studying too much for that class. It wastes my time, and I could be busying myself getting "A's" in all my other classes. Chemistry is certainly a class I want to do good in --- I mean, how many people came out of that class with an in-your-face "A"? Hardly anyone. I wanna break the boundaries... now this is a challenge baby!!! Besides, I'm already at the edge of getting an "A" anyway.... just have to push it, which is why I do all the extra credit that I can get!

And that just about wraps it up for now. School sucks. I've probably said that for the millionth time for god's sake. ::laughs:: But I do enjoy complaining.... it's a hobby of mine, and I love watching others get annoyed by me. This description of the mischievious nature of myself could best be described with the Japanese word "urusai," which pretty much translates to "annoying, bothersome, go away." Nice, huh? ^_^

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 7:15 PM

Sunday, January 06, 2002

Nostalgia Sure Hits Hard

What a great way to start off the New Year: I watched the Ah! My Goddess movie and bought the new Cowboy Bebop Perfect Sessions DVD box set (the first OST volume included as a bonus in this limited edition set). First off, AMG sparked a sort of fever in me. It gave me some fresh ideas for my manga, and plus, renewed my wild spirit that I had buried away long ago. I bought a new shirt and got a new hairstyle. To me, it's quite an accomplishment. And thanks to the movie, I'm also sparked to run out and buy the OVA series from AnimEigo on DVD. Yeah, it was that good, considering that I've never watched AMG in my entire life until now. Sure, some of the things in the movie were unclear to me, but so what?!? I enjoyed it, and that was the important part. Seeing the relationship between Belldandy and Keiichi sent shivers down my spine... I guess I'm a dork for true love. I mean, how many guys out there have a goddess as their girlfriend? Zero. That's what I love about anime --- the fact that it blends in so much creativity brings forth a fantasy world. The nostalgia. Oh how it hits!!! We all have our fantasies, and nothing would be better than experiencing them first-hand as the true reality. I guess that's what came to my mind after watching AMG. The next day, I watched it again and smiled heavily. There's an undeniable sweetness in the overall aspect of it that I just couldn't ignore. No wonder there are so many fans of the show. Hopefully guys could pick up some pointers.

As for Cowboy Bebop, well I watched 2 DVD volumes of it after purchasing it from an electronics store, and totally enjoyed every second of it. Meanwhile, my mom was busy reading her newspaper while trying to understand why I loved the show so much. She's not for any of the action/comedy/mecha/space genres of anime. You wanna know what she goes for? Tenchi Muyo!. I swear, she loves that show to death! I got her so hooked on it, you could almost say that the show was like a drug to her or something!!! She really enjoys traditional anime.... realistic ones, I guess. Her expections are as follows: 1) must have Japanese setting in an ordinary neighborhood. 2) Must have temples somewhere. 3) Must have some smart slapstick comedy. 4) Must have meaning. 5) Must have original storyline. 6) Must have likeable characters. I told her about AMG, and her interest was somewhat aroused. So now she doesn't care if I buy the OVAs or not. I think I will one of these days, but not right now.

Monday is when school starts again, and I'm caught up in a mixture of emotions. Somehow, I've felt as if this whole break has been a complete waste. I didn't really get to fulfill everything I had planned, and had rarely worked on the manga. I only drew like one strip, and it's not even inked. I didn't even touch any of my existing web sites, and now recently, one of my friends made another one! She currently has three sites now!!!! Aaaaaaarrrgghhh!!!! I feel like I'm too lazy. A procrastinator... that, I am. ::sighs:: It sucks, but I can't really change it. This is me, and I'll never change. Well, then again, it is the new year. Am I supposed to write a list of resolutions? Actually, I never do that kind of crap. Just not my style, I say. Well, I'd better stop ranting right now since I'm sure I'm not making any sense at all. I've sort of got a hangover right now, and am blindly doing random things without putting any effort into them, if you know what I mean. Ha, so ja ne minna-san.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 1:35 AM

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