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Saturday, April 27, 2002


Yes, you heard me right, I've finally got some updates on the site! It's not really a big thing, but either way, updates are updates. I removed the links to a couple of Lain sites since they are either non-existant or have been taken down by the webmasters. Included was Fulfill the Prophecy, a great Lain site that was taken down simply because the webmistresses could no longer find the patience to maintain it. You will not be forgotten. Also, I added a new link in "Basement": if you're looking for some great screenshots of the Lain Playstation game that was only released in Japan, then be sure to check out Jen's Homepage.

I also added Club Cyberia's first award! I actually kept forgetting to put this badge up, but anyway, thanks to Jono over at the Anime Zone for this kick-ass Ryoko silver award!!! ^______________^

Soon-to-come: I finally figured out how to add fonts on web sites (it was the easiest thing in the world to figure out, but I was so stupid to not have noticed earlier), so be on the look-out for the Lain font probably next weekend or something since I have to concentrate this week on preparing for the SAT test next Saturday! Yikes.

Other stuff: My friend from school was generous enough to go through the trouble of setting me up a LiveJournal account, so if you're curious to read some more entries, go here (there's only 2 so far).

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:07 PM

Thursday, April 25, 2002


For a while now, my stupid computer has been running with a pretty serious virus loaded in the System folder of my hard drive, completely affecting the peformance speed and access to programs. Why? How? All I'm going to say is that if you get an e-mail that says "A New Game," "A Funny Game," or anything that has the words "A" and "Game" in it, don't download the program. An image is included in the attachments, but the file itself is a .EXE program, and it will invade the files that your system depends on to run. Of course, I was STUPID enough to open the damn thing out of curiousity, and boom, I got a virus, although there was no announcement of it. The next day, my computer became a bitch, and I couldn't understand why until I remembered that I opened the attachment. Secondly, whoever is going around sending it has been hacking into e-mail accounts and sending the virus through there. This happened to me at one of my other e-mails, where the culprit used MY address and mailed the virus to some lady I didn't even know.

Of course, I tried the obvious which was to let my antivirus software take care of it. Unfortunately, the software itself could not remove the virus code, and my only choice was to delete the infected files. HOWEVER, even by deleting the infected files, the virus would only spread to more files. The solution: back up every damn file on my drive and insert the recovery disc, choosing the "reformat and restore" option. Did it work? Hell yes! The downside: now I have to reinstall all the software I ever put on this computer in the first place, argh!!! >.< But at the very least, the virus is gone, and for those of you who are curious as to the virus file name (which I could not find at all on my hard drive), it is: WORM_KLEZ.E. It managed to infect 47 of my files, and after deleting those, it just infected some more.

But anyway, end of that story. SAT 9 has been going okay so far, and tomorrow's the last day. My perverted history teacher played us a kick-ass German flick called Run Lola Run when we finished with our tests early. Speaking of movies, Metropolis is out!!! I'll probably run to Suncoast and get it this weekend since I have to return this hat I got from SkinMarket (which will, undoubtedly, give me $21 back). Oh yeah, but aside from all this joyfulness, this weekend will be total and complete hell. The only time I'll be feeling good is when I'm sitting my ass down in front of the TV watching CN's Adult Swim. There's nothing like some anime to cheer a bummed person up. ^_^

Okay, so what I meant by weekend hell was this: 1) I have to meet my English partners and start working on our Great Gatsby project tomorrow after school. 2) Because of #1, I have skip out on my SAT tutoring, which means I'll have to sit there for 4 hours next week, on the Friday before my actual SAT test!!! 3) My stupid history teacher assigned us this ludicrous weekend task of reviewing chapters 1-44 of our book for the AP Examination on May 10. It is required to study with a partner, and you get 25/25 if you study from 6-8 hours, and you're placed on the honor system of not cheating this. Of course, I'm sure everyone in my class will do that, but my partner is hardcore religious, and she doesn't believe in cheating, which means.... I'm fucked. 4) Today was another club meeting, and the president gave me a lecture about how I need to bring in my finished artwork so that we can get the damn comic book put together. The original plan of selling the comics is, of course, scrapped. We can't afford the publishing fee, and now the plan is to just distribute the comics amonst ourselves. So, this weekend, I'm gonna have to work my ass off on this manga of mine since I hardly touched it during Spring Break. Once again, I'm fucked. And a side note: I changed my manga title AGAIN. I'm going to hope that I won't change it anymore, and to think that I promised to myself last time that I would keep The Blue Lifestyle for sure, but now that I've thought about it so much, I removed two words from the title, giving me the final product of just Blue, which sounds a lot more depressing and dramatic. The term blue, whether it pertains to color or a mental state, conceals a deeper meaning behind it that is mysterious and awkward, supported by positive or negative connotations. This is my favorite color, and it also seems to be my favorite state of mind as well: depressed. I am one helluva depressed person, and I don't even know why. I think I like it, but at the same time, I don't.

And now you know. Don't bother me about the name change --- I like it the way it is right now. ^_^

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:06 PM

Monday, April 22, 2002

The Sleep Goes Away But Decides to Hit Me Now

I actually woke up this morning for school wide awake, but then during 2nd period, I was lulled to sleep again, and this was during someone's presentation too (we were still giving those damn 50 minute presentations)! I felt pretty bad, and hoped that the presenters didn't take notice, because if they did, they would probably think that I was bored with them or something when that wasn't even the case. To tell the truth, they did BETTER than my partner and I on our first day, but thankfully, our final score was 65/50!!! Wow, lots of extra credit! ::is happy::

But anyway, after school, I saw one of the presenters at my SAT math tutoring class and told her that she did a great job. She smiled and told me that the teacher gave her presentation a "45/50," and I was really shocked by this. But she told me that the reason for this was probably 'cause her partner didn't say as much as she did (her partner was incredibly nervous), and it's mandatory that both partners speak for equal amonts of the time or else points will be deducted. At the very least, they got a 90%, so it's an A, or an A-, however you want to look at it. Oh, and, speaking of math tutor, halfway through the class, my sleepiness overcame me, and I couldn't even solve a simple math problem because of my damn tiredness!!! I eyes continuously flickered, and my body was swaying around in my chair, and then my mind felt like I was accelerating and spinning around at the same time. Thankfully, I managed to pull myself together and get through the class without any embarressments...

When I got home, it was exactly 6 p.m. on the dot. I immediately went on to my computer and started messing around online, of course. 2 hours later, I'm frickin' tired YET AGAIN, and so I leave my desk and snooze for god-knows-how-long. I woke up just 10 minutes ago, and it's now 9:54 p.m. I haven't done any homework at all, but luckily, all the homework I have is due on Wednesday, when I have my 4, 5, and 6 periods. Either way, I should actually get a small start on it to save me the workload tomorrow (what if my English teacher decides to toss something in tomorrow, right?). SAT 9 starts tomorrow, and the first day will be totally focused on reading comprehension, reading vocabulary, and language --- all the verbal bullshit. Wednesday will be a nightmare with math, science, and standards history social science part 1. Thursday: standard language arts, standards history social science part 2. Friday: standards math part 1, standards math part 2. I'm doomed, but from what came on the morning announcements today, there will be some sort of pizza party for all students if we play nicely. ::laughs:: My ass, I'll make a bet that we have to pay for it too...

Well, I better get going then. I'll probably post again Wednesday, but who really knows.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:59 PM

Sunday, April 21, 2002


You're Duo Maxwell!

Find out Which Gundam Wing character you are.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:05 PM

Thursday, April 18, 2002

Good God is This Accurate!!!

what's your battle cry? | | merchandise!

Okay, back to homework now...

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 8:21 PM

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

If I Could Have a Superpower...

I would want to be able to stop time itself. I fell asleep again in 2nd period today. The presenters actually did quite a good job... better than mine. >.< Anyway, if I could stop time, I would probably do it everyday, just so I can get my full rest. I can't stand feeling sleepy in class --- it's just too hard to learn that way. I want to be wide awake in my classes, but that seems almost impossible for all the students at my school. If I can't stop time, then I wouldn't mind having the ability to slow time down, as in 1 minute feels like an hour. Or.... if I could speed things up!!! Then I don't have to sit through boring lectures and can just get right to the nitty-gritty! There I go with my wishful thinking again.

Bleh... god I'm tired. Tomorrow is the SAT 9 for science, and my mom, I guess, is expecting me to study like hell for it. I've got a life, you know. Whatever, it doesn't concern me much right now. I just finished my math homework, and I completed my Spanish 2 work at school already. All that's left is Chemistry and English. I also received my current quarter grade in Spanish 2: I'm getting a fuckin' "D." And I am NOT HAPPY AT ALL. I'm really going to try hard to bring up the grade in this class... I don't give a fuck if I'm getting a stupid "D" in APUSH since I know I can bring the grade up if I do well on my stupid 15 page research paper, so no worries. In other words, I'm going to have to put much of my efforts in math and Spanish 2. Speaking of math, I had to stay after school today to make up my Ch. 8 test. I reviewed the chapter last night before bed, but when I got to actually taking the test, I drew blanks. It's like I totally forgot everything I reviewed, which was partially the case. I'm sure I flunked the damn thing, but at least I know I got some points on it, therefore, I won't be getting a stupid "0." I'm worried about this class as well. My teacher takes so damn long to post up recent grades that I'm not even sure if I'm even getting a "B" anymore. I'm scared as hell. This is going to look incredibly bad on both my report card and my college apps. Shit.

I don't think there's much else to say for now. I have to get back to work, and prepare for tomorrow's stupid examination. Someone seriously needs to do something about the CA education system, 'cause it's really starting to piss me off when it comes down to throwing a plethora of tests/surveys/examinations at all the schools in the state.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:23 PM

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

Feeling... Quite High

Wait, no, come back!!! Not THAT kind of high! Like hell I'd ever use drugs... no, this is a natural high. It's pretty odd considering it's the end of the first day of school, and actually, it went over better than expected. SAT 9 testing is only 3 days away for the Chemistry portion, and a lot of the students including myself are pretty pissed off about it. The best advice that my teacher prescribed to us was, oddly enough, "don't study for it." I guess studying would defeat the whole purpose of evaluation a student's progress throughout this school wouldn't it? But either way, it's still ludicrous, and I wonder if someday they'll ever revise the system. Don't know what SAT 9 is? Well, SAT 9 only applies to CA schools, I believe, but there are similar mandatory state exams in other places. Originally, SAT 9 used to be this other test known as the CTBS, and you would take these starting from 6th grade. By the time I reached 7th grade, CTBS was out the window, and a new company took over, proposing the SAT 9, which covers a shit-load of more topics than CTBS (damn you SAT 9!). As a Junior in high school, I would've expected that we'd be exempt from taking the SAT 9 since the majority of us are more focused on the real SATs, but unfortunately, only the Seniors get to sit on their lazy asses and chill all day in the gym. In my opinion, I think they ought to just send the Seniors home... what the hell are they gonna do in a stuffy gym all day? I've heard various things such as the administrators will just play some stupid lecture videos on drugs and drunk driving, etc. Wow, that'll sure bore them to death.

However, that's not the main concern right now. What also really bothers me about this pathetic test is that I'll be spending an entire week taking them in 2nd period, which means... I'll be hanging around with Mr. Pervert. Great, just what I've always wished for, as if! >.< But for right now, I'll do the best I can to just ignore it and find the positive light in the situation, which is basically no boring lectures from any of the teachers. Just straight-forward testing. I've done so many of the practice SAT packets at my tutoring place that this will probably feel like nothing to me. The only differences are: 1) I'm being timed for real, and 2) the scores aren't going to affect my future.

Anyway, I better get off now. It's funny that I'm secretly writing this at 1:44 a.m., but hell, I can't help it. Thankfully, my mom's already asleep in the other room, and she probably knows that I'm deliberately staying up late. I love the night life, you can't blame me!

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 1:47 AM

Friday, April 12, 2002

Wow, It's Almost Over Before It Even Began

So I'm on Spring Break. Great, right? Well, not really. It's Friday morning at 12:30 a.m. I've been doing nothing for this entire week except sit at home on my computer playing Secret of Mana 3, drawing manga, writing, thinking, and watching TV. Well, then again, I have been going out too. My mom lent me her car the other day, so I met my sister at the mall and helped her find the "perfect" sorority formal dress from Windsor Fashions. Aftwerwards, we swung by Gap since they had a sale, and I bought this adorable (and comfy) T-shirt with a chest pocket for $7. Nice. Then after that, we dropped by Tower Records, and I became very tempted to buy music... so tempted, in fact, that I immediately nabbed the new Orbital release called The Altogether, and it's GOOD. Go out and buy now if you are an Electronica fan.

I also started the math portion of the SAT tutoring this Monday. There was nobody there except for another Junior and myself for the next two hours. I believe I'm going to try and attend every Monday since my teacher says that there's way too many students on Saturdays. I know how that must feel. I prefer less crowded time slots, therefore, Mondays it is then, even if it's a weekday (knowing that I'll have school homework to boot, dammit). Stressing out, I found some inspiration and started working on my manga. I managed to draw a new strip, and last night, I finished inking all the current strips. The next step, which I'm about to do in a few minutes or so, is to take my pencils and start adding some shading for that more "life-like" feel. It's kind of weird; I think I'm reminding myself of Kosuke Fujishima with his early take on the Ah! My Goddess manga series (I prefer Ah! to Oh!). The characters looked so different in the early volumes, but then their final looks were perfected as the story continued. I'm the same way. A couple months ago, I actually became fed up with my first 4 strips that I decided to redraw every one of them in order to hide that ugly distinguishing transition from "okay, this girl has got body proportion and looks wrong" to "ah, she has a nice consistent style." It looks fine now, and I'm quite happy with the way it's currently coming out. ::sighs:: And the name... jeez, the name's been switched around several times. First I had it as Matta Juni-gatsu: Yume no Aoi to Matta Juni-gatsu to Yume no Aoi, and then a total name change into its current title: The Blue Lifestyle. A fitting title it is. I'm not going to be throwing off readers just because I have this over-obsession with the Japanese language --- it would be isolating the readers. The name is suitable because it accurately describes the overall theme and the characters who are a part of it: a depressed American-Japanese girl who finds a sort of solace in the country she's a descendant of.

It's a story of isolationism, where a certain individual is in a land away from where most of her stress originates from. By learning and becoming involved in the culture and with the people, she realizes a sort of self-identity, and is able to share that same compassion with someone who has a similar situation to what she's dealing with. Together, these two create an almost inseparable bond that can be considered a close friendship or even love, despite the goofiness and weirdness of its nature. And in between the accounts of their experiences lies the occasional bashing on current social establishments and, of course, my crappy high school. I will be throwing jokes at the way teachers here teach, my perverted Canadian history teacher, the over-achieving students, and those who seem to always make an outsider truly feel like one, no matter what. It's serious, it's funny, and it's just a reflection of my personality, views, and experiences that I've dealt with. I hope no one gets offended by it (I highly doubt that). Besides, it won't even be complete at the time of publication, if that plan's still going to happen. But whatever. This is a personal project, much like this web site and K-Bug Anime. I would like to see it finished eventually, even if it takes me forever to do so. I'm going to get this done.

Blah, well enough of that! I'm back in my weird mood.... took the car out again today and stopped by Tower Records once more and bought... Mr. Scruff!!! Damn, he's cool and he's got STYLE. What's odd was that I discovered him through one of the Cowboy Bebop OSTs, Music for Freelance, that I bought at AX 2001. He did the remix for "Cat Blues," and I was hooked onto that rhythmatic beat. Later on, I totally forgot about him, and then one day, I paid a visit to the Ninja Tune label's site, and saw Mr. Scruff listed as one of the signed artists. I checked out some samples and recognized a few of the songs! I realized that "Get a Move On" was played a couple of times at one of my favorite local radio stations, and that it was also used for various TV and car commercials. I also thoroughly enjoyed all the other songs on his Keep It Unreal album release, including his oddball sense of humor that involves fish. "Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish..." Okay, so anyway...

Later, I checked out his official website,, which was completely littered with Mr. Scruff's own hand-drawn images animated in Flash. I couldn't stop laughing --- they were just too funny. The other great part about the site was the whole membership thing; it was free. I joined, and managed to download a free screensaver (15 minute-long screensaver, whoo!) that contained all the Flash animations on the site. It was like watching a 15 minute short film or movie, or whatever. Ultimately my favorite screensaver. Bwahahahaha, round potato-people running amuck... I LOVE IT!!!! ^_^'

Oh, better go now. I need to work on my manga, and then tomorrow, I'll start the scanning process and dialogue stuff. Crap, I've only got like 3 days 'til Spring Break is over. I'm going to be one helluva sad person when that happens.

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 1:03 AM

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

Barely Hanging On: The Dying Wait for Spring Break

This week is nothing but tests for me. In fact, I have a test for all of my classes. Yippey. Notice my lack of enthusiasm? Ugh, god this week is total and complete HELL!!!! I had a Spanish test today (I probably did bad, knowing me), a CAT II (Computer Applications and Technology) final (or exam, technically); tomorrow, I have a competency exam in CAT II for Microsoft Excel. I also have lots of reviewing to do 'cause.... Thursday I have a Chem test, an AP History test, and another Spanish 2 test. Friday: I have to give a 50 minute (yes, you heard me right) presentation with my partner for History (it's part of reviewing for the AP examination in May), take an English test on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, what so what not. What's stressing me out the most is the presentation for APUSH. I have absolutely no frickin' idea how my partner and I are going to do this, but we have to find a way. I think I'm going to have to go back and re-read the chapters I'm covering to get a good idea of the main theme and key events going on. Then, on Friday, I basically have to just talk like there's no tomorrow. It's going to definitely be a lot of B.S.-ing, but there's no other way we can do this.

Besides the usual school stress, I had a nervousness attack; last week, a writer from Glamour magazine wrote me because she read some comments that I posted (I'm guessing that they were posted here) about homeschooling. She was doing research on the topic, and wanted to ask me a couple of questions. After finding some time finally, I gave her a buzz after school today. But before that happened, I was shaking REALLY bad from nervousness. I don't know why, but I always get really nervous during interviews. It turned out better than I had expected (and the writer was nice too), but now that I think about it, I feel really idiotic. The more the conversation dwells on my mind, the more I curse myself for giving some stupid answers. I mean, if given the time, I could come up with some great answers for her to use, but because it was right on spot, my head just wasn't functioning properly. Either way, I hope my responses helped clear up some of the negativity going on with homeschooling. I'm sick of all the stupid stereotypes --- homeschooling is great, and I have absolutely no regrets about ever doing it. I've boosted my self-confidence, had the chance to travel around the country, and learned an important skill that will benefit me later: independent study. Despite the fact that you do sit at home all day, homeschooling does allow you the opportunity to be independent. That's something I noticed between homeschoolers and regular public school students. Also, homeschoolers are geniuses. No, they're not like the students at my current high school who overwork themselves to try to get into Stanford, but they are all incredibly unique in their own way, with their own talents and their own one-of-a-kind personality. I don't, and can't, see why some people have this tendency to bad-mouth it. Whatever. Personally, I give kudos to homeschooling.

::sighs:: Aw crap, my mom just got back, which means I need to haul my ass offline now. Besides, I haven't finished my homework yet. School needs to end right now, and Spring Break needs to start. I never realized how behind we were compared to the other schools. -_-'

posted by Nelmaki Antix at 9:13 PM

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